When arguing with your partner, be sure to choose your words carefully. Do not escalate the argument just because your partner does. Ask yourself— is this situation this worth arguing about? Try to understand the purpose behind an action — if something happened accidentally you should not treat it as if it was done intentionally.
If you have done something wrong, the best possible option is for you to admit it. Denying something only makes it more hurtful and often your partner will be able to forgive you much more quickly if you are honest and forthcoming. Before you go too far, take a step back and think — would you rather lose the fight or lose your partner?
After a fight you and your partner can take stock of what happened. You can discuss what hurt each of you and how you can move forward. Description Partners in long-term relationships need to live alongside one another whilst maintaining their own needs, goals and desires, which may conflict with each other. Emotional escalation that can result in shouting, swearing, aggression or violence.
The needs of each person are equally important. It is possible for both people to win. It encompasses different skills, laid down as ground rules that all parties should agree and adhere to when dealing with conflict: Effective communication skills: active listening, taking it in turns to be speaking or listening, and expressing feelings assertively. Collaborative problem solving skills: dealing with one problem at a time, suggesting solutions and compromises, talking through the positive and negative consequences of possible solutions, and trying to finish with either a solution, or an agreement to postpone a disagreement to another time.
I want to introduce you to some Fair Fighting Rules so that we start thinking about HOW arguments can be fair or unfair… Read through the rules together: Do any of these rules resonate with you? References Bach, G. McKay, M. Messages: The communication skills book. Nielsen, A. From Couple Therapy 1. Constantly fighting in a relationship can never have good outcomes. After you cool yourselves down, both of you can get a better perspective of the situation and work towards the solution instead of damaging it further.
If your partner has been vulnerable to you and confided in you about their weaknesses, do not use this knowledge to pin them down when you are losing a fight. This indeed is a very nasty way of fighting, which can ruin your relationship with your partner for life. This is a strict no-no! Even if you are in a fit of rage, fight the feelings, but never resort to violence.
Slapping your partner even if they are wrong would turn the tables upside down. The main issues would conveniently get side-tracked, and your relationship will crumble beyond repair. If you are a religious person and believe in the power of prayers, use them regularly to gain strength and avoid conflicts in your relationship. Prayers have the power to give you strength, help you overcome your weaknesses, and even help you heal from your previous scars.
Despite trying everything, if you are still having a hard time dealing with your partner, seek professional help. They can help you unveil the underlying issues, help you heal, and make you capable enough to deal with such issues successfully even in the future. Just remember, conflicts will inevitably arise, but your partnership will remain unscathed as long as you continue fighting fair with your significant other. As long as you are fighting fair and maintaining effective communication, nothing can sound the death knell for your relationship.
Also Watch:. Take Course. Marriage Advice. Marriage Quizzes Marriage Quotes Videos. Find a Therapist. Search for therapist. All Rights Reserved. By Alissa Zucker. Share on Facebook. Share on Twitter. Share on Pintrest. Share on Whatsapp. In This Article. Share this article on Share on Facebook. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Alissa Zucker is a copywriter, working for the professional writing company Mcessay.
She is interested in reading classic and psychological books which give her inspiration to write her own articles and short stories. Relationship What Is Marriage? Recent Articles.
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